this post is for you MY UNESCO

August 13th 2011

Even though i'm not really into you, but you all have made me laugh aloud tonight for the thousand times again and again. i couldn't say anything but thank you. and i do hope we can through this year together again as a unity like we used to before and get what we supposed to get, to reach what we want in the future. let's fight struggle and success together UNESCO!! show the world that we are the true generation for do the mobilization.

my dreams

i have let at least three of my dreams go. my biggest passion in life. i know He has prepared a better future for me. well sometimes regret is the most appropriate word. but situation just forced me to let 'em go. so... what can i do then. nothing. seriously, its nothing. people said chase ur dream and reach it, do as best as you can for everything, for your happiness. but it just too late for me. really really late. i have nothing left for at least a lil hope. no, i have nothing. i have no candle in the dark. and the point is not only about my happiness. i have parents, i want them to be happy. people said live your life right so you can get the happiness. but sometimes its wrong. happiness is not a destination of life happiness is not something what we live for. but happiness is something we live by. we live our life happily so we still be able to live to through every hard time. over all, i live once and im not gonna live forever. i have let those dreams, those passions. but i do believe HE has prepared something better for my future which i will do wholeheartedly happy and bring some happiness to lead my life. i believe in You. i know You always want me to be happy at any situation i live. so please help me to choose another choice the way i'll live and fulfill my life. bcause i know You will.

my daddy birthday

Happy Birthday the greatest daddy ever!! wish nothing but the best. follow your heart, keep the spirits, never give up, catch the dream and I LOVE YOU as always and forever. kiss kiss hug hug. sincerely, your lovely and going to skinny daughty ((:

Alone

i hate being lonely, being alone and nobody care to me. but sometimes i realize being alone is the best choice. because when you alone you dont have to think bout another person who's sitting next to you or walking behind or in front of you. you dont have to think whether you hurt their heart or not with ur words. ya, sometimes being alone is the best thing in life. S O M E T I M E S.

Emptiness

pensi has left my second years of high school has gone and it feels empty inside have nothing to do with ur life. im just not ready enauf to face the third grade of school. im not ready yet to start to manage my school stuff again. im not ready yet with the national exam and collage things. i still want to hang out, have fun, doing something crazy. i want my time back i want everything which has left back to me. i miss thinking how pensi will be i miss thinking how to make sure that everything will be okay along the Day (re: pensi) i miss being a lil girl who will always be guarded by my older schoolmates i miss become hectic and panic when evertyhing just didnt work in the right way. it just empty inside. i have no body to be liked to be crushed on even to be loved. i have no passion in my life for this time. i'm missing someone who never exist. i'm missing something that i always think through this years. everything just so damn empty inside, and its perfectly sucks.

Beautiful and Me

people said :

"You're beautiful on your own way. Because God makes no mistake."

well for me "im pretty sure God makes no mistake because He is The God, it just never crossed my mind that im beautiful. im not beautiful and will never be. im not beautiful in my own way cause i even have not any ways to make my self beautiful." thats the truth is

PENSI DRIVING ME CRAZY AND GETTING ME INSANE

oke talk about pensi. ya pensi pensi pensi, udah terlalu sering gue ucapin kata kata itu sampe hampir nggak ada artinya. waktu gue kelas satu 25% hidup gue, gue abisin buat pensi. sekarang gue kelas 2, pensi taun ini adalah giliran angkatan gue memperjuangkan event ratusan juta ini. gue setres gue pusing gue sering putus asa sampe gue sering mikir, gue bukan halim gue nggak seharusnya ikut jadi panitia nggak seharusnya gue disini. seharusnya gue sama temen temen gue, have fun ngejalanin dan ngelakuin hal gila, bukannya malah kayak orang gila yang harus mikir dapet duit dari mana gimana caranya ini itu gimana bikin ini itu. tapi gue udah terlanjur masuk, udah terlanjur basah. bahkan udah terlalu basah untuk keluar dan kering. ya gue udah megang jabatan gue bukan cuma anggota cabutan yang bisa keluar masuk panitia seenak jidat. gue punya tanggung jawab. tapi kadang di satu sisi gue ngerasa nggak pantes nggak seharusnya bahkan nggak kuat ada di posisi sekarang. tapi gue juga selalu inget, gue nggak boleh ngeluh perjalanan gue masih panjang dan ini baru awal, pensi ini baru pembelajaran awal buat apa yang akan gue lakuin di masa depan gue nanti dan gue selalu inget juga kalo masih banyak orang yang lebih pusing dan stress mikirin pensi. karena pensi ini bukan pensi yang dapet dana dari sekolah gede dan panitianya bisa nyantai nonton makan foto foto di mall everyweekened. NO. pensi kita pensi yang mandiri pensi yang berdiri dan terlaksana sendiri berkat kerjakeras panitia. dan hal itu yang akan gue perjuangin di umur gue yang ke 17 di kelas 2 SMA ini, because if you do nothing when you live then you have nothing when you leave. bismillah gue bisa, kita bisa.