Jimmy

I love this picture, so much. But every time I look at it I hurt, just like I do when I look at any picture of Avenged Sevenfold with Jimmy in, and tbh, just like I do with picture that should have him in. I thought I was getting better at handling it, coming to grips with the fact he’s gone, but I’m not, and reading that article today proved that. I sat there and tried to read it as soon as I bought it, sitting on a bench next to some woman, who must have thought I was crazy. I sat there and I had barley read the first paragraph before I was bawling. So I left it until I got home. I sat there, bracing myself, and once I opened it and saw the first picture I was gone, crying my eyes out as I read it. It just still doesn’t seem real, none of it, I still expect Jimmy to pop out and just say it was all a terrible joke and that he’s still alive and everything can go back to normal again. But things will never be normal again, though. Never. Because he’ll never be back, he’s not coming back, and it kills me everyday. I feel as though I neglect them, to protect myself from the reality of him being gone. I don’t post pictures of them, and I rarely reblog anything to do with them. I haven’t watched the DVDs in ages, and even though I still listen to them it’s nowhere near as much as the amount I used to. It’s like prising open an old wound every time, but I need to get past this, and be strong, just like my boys are being. They’ve had to deal with so much more pain than I could imagine, and they’re doing it, being strong, living, fighting, making music. so I’m going to do it too, because I miss Avenged Sevenfold, so much.
I love this band with everything I have in me, their music has given me a reason to breathe, a reason to fight when things get tough. This band, these five men are a part of me, they’re my heroes. I admire their strength, their talent and their ability to have fought through this hardship and come out with, what I know will be, an incredible fucking album. I am so immensely proud to call myself an Avenged Sevenfold fan, a member of The Fallen; and Fallen For Life for that matter. Because I am, I’ll be with these boys ‘till the day I die. No-one in the whole world will ever, and could ever replace these guys, no-one or nothing could ever even attempt to duplicate the feelings these guys music has made me feel. Complete, happy. I will forever be in their debt for everything they’ve done for me, for saving me. Thank you Avenged Sevenfold. And rest in peace Jimmy, I’ll see you again one day. ♥

P.S. = thats not my writing. thats belong to someone on tumblr who has same felling just like me. so i put it here.